Post-op Texties...

- How are you doing?

Me - Fantastically!!!!!! Can't feel my leg! Fettjg wobtkn soup

-Awesome! You're high as shit!

Me - You high!!!! I'm good. O feel paju. Drunkmabyve

-Sell out. Let's just drink soon.

Me - Done. If this is hat if feels like unfold. J feelfantarix. Not riding motos though. Not lime this. Kill myself.

-I'll be by soon to bring ice cream when you can eat!

Me - Bitch you better bring that ish soon!! Cal insiiiiiiiiiiiixkbbnn

-Haha what does call in insiiiiiiiiiiiixkbbnn mean?

Me - Don't be silly!!!! We're friend!!!!

-You're on drugs. Nataliya ANDRIENKOoooooo says hi!

Me - Nooooooo messages!!!!! I love everything. Nata?!?!?!? I LOVE her!!! Gig her for me and the oat her on the ass.

Me - I'm here. Et tr hospital. And I can't feel my leg. Myphone is gonna die. Becaue

There's joy battery

-You are making no sense but you're alive and I am so happy!

Me - Let's see. I can't feel my Lef. Hopped up on drugs. I'm selling everything.

-Selling everything?! Like what?! I will buy something good!

Me - I don't know!!!!!!!8 thing I'm drunk.

Me - My mom's ere. Ad I think someone jizzed in my hair.

-You ARE drunk! You didn't ever go to the hospital did you! You are at the bar and you are wasted! I know the truth!

-Wash your hair! Wash it now!

Me - Yessssssssssssssss. Wasted. I'm fixit up meds. Straight to alcohol.

-You get to go home tonight, right?!

Me - Iywah. We're heading there after this I think. Wheelchair first. J like autocorrect. But I wish I voice texted. The I don't think it would help me anyaybe.

Me - Dads miishtadhe rules.

-Did that mean: dad's mustache rules?!

Me - Yesssssssssssnnnnnnnn

Me - Gettingwonron soup soon. And norco. They're going me a cpm Mahoney too

-I hope you're okay!!!!

Me - I'm great. I love life. Can't feel my


-Did a miracle occur and are you running again? Best post op activity ever.

Me - I run now. Best post op. O have a machine coming to my house and it's a full time job.

-Can you talk yet? Or is your mouth still too drugged up?

Me - My Phoebus going to due

Phone is goungtj die


Me - You low

-Crutch yourself over to the BBQ...

Me - Hahaha. Crutch! That's on liek 2 days!!!! I dint know if I'll be Sony th the. !!!

-Sony th the??????? What the hell does that even mean???

-Sweet! How are you feeling?

Me - Great. Buri need internetz. Theydit habt it right now and it's killing me. Mave

Me - Ifeel good

Hopefully everyone gets just as much entertainment out of these as I did when I re-read them.


Kevin said...

You're a ruler! That shit was funny!

Nate B. said...

Those were phenomenal! I love how argumentative and sure of yourself you were! Friends were calling you drunk and high and you weren't buying it!!!! And the jizz in the hair!! Priceless. I hope your knee is feeling good and your exercise machine shows up soon. Rehab the shit outta that knee!