My mom's first words to me after breast cancer surgery

Were raspy from dehydration and having a breathing tube down her throat. She sounded like one of the sisters from the Simpsons when she spoke.

As she was pointing to her newly implanted D cup breasts, she asked me "Are you jealous?"

I was about 13 and I'm pretty sure my cup size was in the negatives, but these words eased any worry I had about her having the surgery in the first place. Now that she was mocking me, I knew she was fine.

This was my first recollection of many, many encounters with cancer within my family and it was the best outcome I could ever hope for.

I've been waiting

For the pity party to start and I think it's on it's way.  I try to be pretty optimistic, on the outside at least, but this shit gets to me.

It seems that there are fewer things that could happen to make things worse off.  Not just for me.  Getting bad news about people you love is never easy.  In this case, it drove me to a placing a phone call I haven't made in over 2 months only to hear an answering machine.  I knew that would be the outcome.  If I thought for a even a second there would be a faintly familiar voice on the other end, I never would have dialed the number.

After being out of town for last 3 weekends, I think I'm sitting this one out and staying in town.  I haven't found a reason for celebration, but I need to.