I've been waiting

For the pity party to start and I think it's on it's way.  I try to be pretty optimistic, on the outside at least, but this shit gets to me.

It seems that there are fewer things that could happen to make things worse off.  Not just for me.  Getting bad news about people you love is never easy.  In this case, it drove me to a placing a phone call I haven't made in over 2 months only to hear an answering machine.  I knew that would be the outcome.  If I thought for a even a second there would be a faintly familiar voice on the other end, I never would have dialed the number.

After being out of town for last 3 weekends, I think I'm sitting this one out and staying in town.  I haven't found a reason for celebration, but I need to.

Number six? Really?

Or am I just making mountains again?


For the past 2 weeks or so, as my knee has been catching and locking up on me, I've become more and more concerned with my healing...which has led me to small pity parties with only me in attendance.  Luckily, they only last as long as I am alone.  Once someone comes over (or home) or when I get messages  it usually cheers me up enough to not think about my knee.  I've got extraordinary friends and family.  Even when I don't think I seem like I'm putting out a Debbie Downer vibe, someone seems to know the right things to say or do.


The catching that's happening is obviously something deep inside my knee and it's cause enough for me to have called the doctor just before 5pm today.  Apparently he works pretty late and shows concern for his patients because I received a call back from him around 9pm.  Once I explained that my knee is now catching multiple times throughout the day and causing me pain on the regular he asked me to go in tomorrow morning so he can take a look at it.  He reminded me that there's probably not a whole lot he can do, especially from just taking a look at the outside of the knee.  We quickly talked about an MRI to check if we can see anything as far as progress goes.  He also indicated that it's possible he'll have to go back in arthroscopically.  Fortunately I still can't walk yet and arthroscopic surgeries are cake.  There would be little rehab for the procedure.


My gut feeling is that this surgery hasn't taken.  Wow.  Writing that down makes it real, doesn't it.  Maybe if I strikethrough that I still have a chance?  Ahhh...that feels a little better.  Still not quite reality.  


Other than that silly knee thing, today was fantastic.  I woke up late, got lunch made for me, was dropped off at PT and even though once I'd crutched home the doors were all locked, Brandon showed up soon after I had gotten there and let me in!!  I got great news earlier and I'm going to try to make it up to my grandma's on Friday.  She's a guaranteed "pick-me-up!!!!"  What else is a fantastic pick-me-up?!  


SHOPPING.
Handmade sweater jackets

I'll need these for my "uniform" for next year

I need these just because

This is funny and matches my wallet

Who DOESN'T want a mustache?

Upon my search of stuff for Jody and Amanda

I found things like this

But I can make things like this

But not like this. Link 80, go crazy.

Day 6 - Love means never having to say you're sorry...

After waking up super late and hopping on the machine, Amber came over bearing gifts and we played cards for about 3 hours. While Amber was here, Brother and Amy showed up bearing coloring books with crayons and colored pencils. When I saw Brother come in, I asked if my sick burn on Facebook inclined him to swing by. He denied it...but I'm pretty sure he felt like an asshole. I think he felt like he had to show up since he's my own flesh and blood hadn't come by after all my friends had. Katie and her mom also came by to see how I'm doing. Katie made me steam cake. Then she told me that she basically flew here, all the way from New York just to make me steam cake. I believe her. She's IS my best friend after all. I was a little off from meds...and decided that she was about to fly back to New York now that her sole purpose to be in Sacramento was now complete.

Amongst the television I watched today, I also watched 3 movies. I watched The Never Ending Story and remembered why I love that movie. I don't know why I haven't watched it every day since surgery. I followed that up with Love Story. I'd never seen it before, but am glad I took the time. It was a very good movie and I definitely cried at the end. Last, but not least was Goal! The Dream Begins. The movie was good enough for my mom to stay up 'til 1:15 when she's normally in bed by 11 at the latest. Looking back, all these movies are pretty genuinely good considering I love horrible teen pop sensation films. I'm gonna have to watch some bad movies tomorrow to make up for lost time.

I finally did what I said I was going to do today. I crocheted. I picked up my hook and my yarn...and I did a couple rows on a baby blanket I've been working on. I felt accomplished. After I conquer this baby blanket, I have a hat to work on and another baby blanket to start. Katie also put in a request for a camera case and yoga mat bags. I've also still got those juice box handlebar cozies for Kip and Todd to figure out.

After Amber had left and before Katie had shown up tonight I decided to throw myself a pity party. Apparently it wasn't a very good party because I fell asleep.