55 degrees, 35 to go!!!!

I sat around doing 50 degrees of flex for a half hour today when I woke up uber late. I moved on to 55 degrees and it seriously felt like my kneecap was going to rip the seams of my stitches and shoe through. It hurt. Not bad enough to take any meds. Now it just achees.

I think my stitches are starting to heal because this ish is starting to become dry and itchy. I mean...I want to scratch the stitches out and dig under the steri-strips. I leave it alone though. I have my post-op on Tuesday. I hope they'll tell me I'm making good progress and I'm right on track of what they expect to see.

Today cousin Cyndi came by with Callee and they painted my toes a beautiful dark red. It brightens my spirits to look down and see a shaven leg and painted toesies. No pity parties here!!!! What also puts me in a good mood are phone calls from dear friends that actually have substance. I think I got about 3 or 4 of those today. And of course, my parents = own it. They're hands down the most amazing people I have ever met.

On a non-knee note, I'm getting very excited about Nigel. I've been looking at sites and photos and it's painful that he's so close to being finished. At this point it doesn't matter much, I'm looking at about 3 months before I can even think of riding...let alone kicking over my own bike. Two knees, two knees.


8 days of straight shopping...

And I've been fortunate enough to only make one purchase. So if anyone wants me to find random hard-to-find items, let me know. If you want it and you have an idea about it...I will do my absolute best to find it. I'd like to have a "purpose" while I'm sitting on the internet for an embarrassing amount of time a day.

50 degrees of flex is gnar gnar. It stretches the stitches and skin and makes everything fell all tight. It's definitely getting more difficult just sitting at that machine. Katie came over for a quick minute today to say good-bye before she headed off with her crazy schedule. I was able to take my third shower since surgery (score!). Chris also came over and brought some dvd's and his good company. Kip Barry and Scotty also made an appearance to bring me tacos and talk belt buckles with the 'rents.

45 degrees and counting...

Yup...you read it correctly. I'm at 45 degrees of flex. Halfway to my goal! It doesn't hurt, but it does pull at the skin a bit. It just makes it a little taught, but nothing uncomfortable. I was in the machine for about 7 hours today. It's random, but I just forget to pay attention to the time when I'm in it. When I first heard the news about being in it for 6 to 8 hours a day I was pretty put out. Now that I have it around, it actually isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Since I have to alternate time on and off it it makes me move around and kind of gives me a purpose to get up for the day. It also keeps me from sitting the same spot and making mom and dad's couch severely uneven.

I watched a lot of CSI and Bones today. I'm pretty confident that I've seen every episode of both shows. I think I just have them on in the background because it's noise while I sit on the internet. I'm quite amazed that I have so much to look at (between blogs, Etsy and facebook) that I manage to keep my computer on my lap, or very nearby, for 4 - 6 hours right when I wake up for the day. If I throw in message boards, I don't think I'd ever put the damned thing down.

Today mom & dad had new windows installed. I woke up around 9 or so and heard them working on the windows in the front of the house. The hammer was banging and I know for most people, that would mean they wake up because of the constant noise. Not me. I went right back to sleep after I identified the noise and slept like a baby. I didn't wake up until the afternoon. I sometimes feel lazy when I wake up at such a late hour, then I remember what time I went to sleep and don't feel quite as lazy.

Kyle came over tonight and became a dream come true when he offered to bring over Zoolander and a Temple mocha. He arrived with that lovely beverage in his hand and I rejoiced. It was a beautiful way to start an evening. Katie and her mom also dropped by for a few. I think I've seen Katie more than anyone since I've been laid up...and she lives 3,000 miles away. What're best friends for, right? I'm trying to get her to make me steam cake tomorrow before she goes to the airport too. The one she made the other day was crazy delicious and I hope she has time before she jet sets again.

I didn't wake up and remember to call the doctor and ask about my quad exercises in time, but it's on the list for first thing tomorrow morning. And by tomorrow...I now mean today. I'm need to create better sleeping habits.


A full week

And I still can't lift my leg up on my own. I think it has a lot to do with the surgeon dislocating my kneecap in the first place. It hurts when I try to tighten my quad, so I haven't been doing much of that. When I went in for my pre-op they gave me a list of exercises to do once I got out of surgery and on my way to recovery. This list looked just like the lists I got from my previous surgeries. I know the drill, I know what to do when I get out of the hospital. Although, a week or so before I went in for my procedure, I got a packet in the mail from the cartilage replacement company. Inside this packet there is another set of instructions for physical therapy after surgery. I flip through this information and it includes the use of the CPM machine (which by the way I never knew I was getting until being discharged at the hospital on surgery day) and 2 exercises which were on the list from the doctor.

Between waiting for the CPM machine to show up and calling the doctor's office every hour on the hour, I was lightly doing the quad reps both instructions indicated I was supposed to be doing. Once I had finally talked to the doctor on Wednesday, he told me to do absolutely no exercises (except the knee raise) until the CPM machine showed up, including the quad tightening one. He told me not to do anything until that machine showed up. I listened. I listened really well and even asked him, "Are you sure? You don't want me doing the quad reps or anything?" just to be sure. He told me no. Twice. Since I'm tired of having surgeries and really want this one to work out to my benefit, I'm doing everything the doctor says to do. I'm following every instruction to the exact specifications. Including being on that machine 6-8 hours a day, which can get extremely tiresome and can make one restless.

The problem I am now struggling with is that I cannot lift my leg without the help of my other extremities. Especially if I have this huge bulky brace that adds a couple pounds strapped on. To get in and out of the machine I've got to use both my hands to lift my leg up and place it where it needs to be. After a week, I'm trying to figure out if that's necessary. I'm going to have to call the doctor's office tomorrow to see if I should resume with the quad exercises. I shouldn't have to rely on someone else, or my arms to put my leg in a comfortable spot.

The machine isn't so bad either. It makes me move, which is nice...and actually keeps my ass from becoming numb and painful. I'm up to 40 degrees of flexion, but according to all the pamphlets I'm supposed to be at 90 degrees by next Tuesday at my post-op. If I go up 5 degrees a day, I think that only puts me at 80 degrees in a week. Oops. Maybe they should have gotten that dumb thing to me when they were supposed to have.

The machine itself doesn't make much noise and I can hardly hear it when the television is on, but today for some reason it caught my attention. While I was sitting there and my leg was straightening out, I could feel my kneecap stutter across the bone as it was resting into place. It didn't hurt, but it felt freaking weird.

For visitors today, my cousin Cyndi and her daughter Callee came by for a bit. They brought me a Blow Pop and a really cute plastic turtle ring. It was super cute how apprehensive Callee is around me. She knows I'm hurt, but thinks I'm broken...so she's afraid to get too close because she thinks she's going to damage me more. It's ridiculously adorable. Later on..after both my folks went to bed, Katie and Julio came by. Katie was kind enough to bring her new camera over so I could make her a case for it real quick. Katie picked out the yarn and I whipped one up for her. She likes it, but I feel the work is kind of shoddy. I wish I had different yarn and I probably should have used a smaller hook. It's one of those things that I'm going to notice and get irritated at every time I see it. I worked on the baby blanket today too. I'm really starting to want to crochet lately. I think this is a good sign. Hopefully it means I'm getting back in the mood for it.

Since I've been up so late and mom's gotta work in the morning, she's been up twice to check on me. She gets all concerned and well...motherly when I'm up super late. I think she's concerned about me having to get this gnar gnar brace back on and hobble down the hallway with all my goods in stow. She's incredibly sweet.


Day 6 - Love means never having to say you're sorry...

After waking up super late and hopping on the machine, Amber came over bearing gifts and we played cards for about 3 hours. While Amber was here, Brother and Amy showed up bearing coloring books with crayons and colored pencils. When I saw Brother come in, I asked if my sick burn on Facebook inclined him to swing by. He denied it...but I'm pretty sure he felt like an asshole. I think he felt like he had to show up since he's my own flesh and blood hadn't come by after all my friends had. Katie and her mom also came by to see how I'm doing. Katie made me steam cake. Then she told me that she basically flew here, all the way from New York just to make me steam cake. I believe her. She's IS my best friend after all. I was a little off from meds...and decided that she was about to fly back to New York now that her sole purpose to be in Sacramento was now complete.

Amongst the television I watched today, I also watched 3 movies. I watched The Never Ending Story and remembered why I love that movie. I don't know why I haven't watched it every day since surgery. I followed that up with Love Story. I'd never seen it before, but am glad I took the time. It was a very good movie and I definitely cried at the end. Last, but not least was Goal! The Dream Begins. The movie was good enough for my mom to stay up 'til 1:15 when she's normally in bed by 11 at the latest. Looking back, all these movies are pretty genuinely good considering I love horrible teen pop sensation films. I'm gonna have to watch some bad movies tomorrow to make up for lost time.

I finally did what I said I was going to do today. I crocheted. I picked up my hook and my yarn...and I did a couple rows on a baby blanket I've been working on. I felt accomplished. After I conquer this baby blanket, I have a hat to work on and another baby blanket to start. Katie also put in a request for a camera case and yoga mat bags. I've also still got those juice box handlebar cozies for Kip and Todd to figure out.

After Amber had left and before Katie had shown up tonight I decided to throw myself a pity party. Apparently it wasn't a very good party because I fell asleep.


Day 5...

Got my CPM machine today!!! The guy, who we'll call DB (short for douche bag), showed up around 11 this morning to deliver and set up the machine. After he had set it up, he wanted to make sure I knew how to use the machine. So...I get sit down, he straps my foot in, and he turns the machine on. Now...we've got to make sure my leg isn't going to be bending too far too fast and I can deal with the range of motion about to be set up, so the conversation I have with DB goes as follows:

DB: Okay...I'm going to turn the machine on now. It's going to bring your knee up, bending it. There will be some tightness and a little bit of pressure to your knee, but let me know when it feels like it's too much and you can't bend any further.
Me: Alright, go ahead.

DB turns the machine on and it slowly does it's thing, bending my knee and bringing it up. I start to feel my knee become tight and the pressure on my knee cap where the stitches are becomes a little taught. I hang in there a bit longer (because I know it'll loosen up after a little bit) and once I feel my knee cap kind of slide forward a bit I tell him that it's as far as I can go.

DB: Oh, that's all you can bend? 35 degrees of flexion. Wow...looks like we've got a LOT of work to do!
Me: Umm...yeah?

The only thing I wanted to do was yell at this asshole. No freaking kidding. Of COURSE we have a lot of work to do. The machine SHOULD have been at the house on Tuesday. I should have been strapped into this thing for the past 4 days, working on getting my range of motion back. Not only that, but when I tried to get a hold of someone the second day for exercises to do before receiving the machine, I didn't get a single call back! And here's this douche bag with two, count them...TWO perfectly good legs walking around inadvertently taunting me all the while telling me about how much more flexion I should have with a machine that didn't show up on time. Like I don't know I have work to do.
I was on the CPM machine for 6 hours today. I slept through 2 1/2 of them and was on the computer the rest of the time. I didn't even touch my yarn today. Instead I had 2 fantastic visitors come through and occupy some of my time. On the list for tomorrow: CPM machine at 40 degrees of flex for 6-8 hours, Amber hang out for a little while, crochet (for real this time) and I think I'm going to throw in some quad strengthening exercises while I'm at it. Having to lift my leg with my arms is getting old. I need my quad back!


Day 4...

Today was
much better than yesterday. I only ended up taking 5 pills over-all today, which is probably close to half of what I had the day before. I also woke up later than I have the past couple days and it wasn't because of discomfort (woot!). I think I settled in to my couch spot around 8:30 or 9 this morning and made my first call to the doctor to follow up on the CPM machine that still hasn't arrived. Dad and I watched some television, napped, then watched some more tele. The hard life, right?

Around 11 or so dad helped me take off the huge brace. I did my exercises, 3 sets of 15-20 lifts. When mom got home at 4, we took off the mummy wraps to get me ready for my first shower in 72 hours. Once we got all the bandages off and I finally got to see the carnage, I was pleasantly surprised. I was not bummed out or overly disgusted. There is a 4-5 inch incision directly on top of my knee cap. I thought for sure they would have gone around the knee cap. I'm happy to say that this will leave me with a pretty good scar (so I can prove I've had 5 surgeries...and at least one invasive one).

After the shower I was able to leave the brace off most the day, which may have contributed to me feeling better. Having my leg without restraint is beautiful. I didn't have any pity parties today and I got a call around 3 from the doctor's office. They let me know that they were waiting on one piece of paper and then they could deliver the machine. They said it would be here by either 8pm or early Saturday morning. Since I'm not strapped in it right now, I assume it's going to show up early tomorrow morning.

I also had quite a few people checking in on me to see how I was feeling and even visitors!

Brandon came over in the morning/afternoon. Brought himself a burrito. Dad came in the house and gave him shit for not offering to pick up anything for anyone else. Apparently he thought his company was good enough (which I was grateful for, but c'mon...no offer? Really?).

Jody and Amanda showed up after I had showered (lucky them!). They brought me a gigantic mocha, a rice krispie treat, a Kate Hudson movie and a get well card. They definitely showed up Brandorz in a big way!!! Even though Brandon and Alissa did show up yesterday and wake me up with a butterfinger milkshake in my face. Having company is always nice, especially when all I'm doing is sitting around watching crime dramas and shop shop shopping. Lucky for me...I've only made 2 purchases so far. I think tomorrow I'm going to start on movies and yarn.

And if anyone wants to get me a recovery gift, this would be a good idea: Get well Rijel, it's been a difficult surgery...you deserve this!


Day 3

Today was pretty painful. In more than just the physical aspect. I got more than 3 hours of sleep at a time, which was a relief. But when I woke up I was emotionally drained and very upset for some random unknown reason. I called the doctor's office around 9am to get a status update on the CPM machine that was supposed to be delivered Wednesday and still hasn't arrived. When I started asking the receptionist about the machine I started getting extremely upset and started crying. I had to give the phone to my dad to finish the phone call. About 30 minutes later I was totally fine and even called the doctor's office about 6 more times throughout the day for updates. I hope I don't continue on some sort of ridiculous emotional roller coaster. I've been on that ride before with the last surgeries and I don't recall it being any fun.

Once I got a hold of my doctor, he gave me 1 exercise to do while I wait for the machine to be delivered (which he said should be here Friday). I get to remove the brace and the exercise is to stand up, bend my leg 20-30 degrees in front of me and then let gravity have it back and straighten it again. I'm supposed to do this 10-20 times every couple hours while I'm awake. I was able to do the exercise twice, making the leg lifts a total of about 30 times before my body got all shaky and was too afraid I might fall. Towards the end of the day today I started to feel a bit nauseated every time I look at things too closely and I keep falling asleep after every pill I take. I feel like I want to vomit, because for some reason I think it would make my stomach feel a lot better. On the other hand...I think I just need to get more sleep.

I remember the last two times I had surgery I definitely threw a couple pity parties for myself. I'm trying really hard not to do that again. Lucky for me, I have a few really strong people supporting me and letting me know how fortunate I am to be able to get this surgery.

It makes me feel good to have gotten as many phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook posts and visitors as I have. I know people have better things to do so when people can squeeze me in, it definitely puts a smile on my face.


Post-op Texties...

- How are you doing?

Me - Fantastically!!!!!! Can't feel my leg! Fettjg wobtkn soup

-Awesome! You're high as shit!

Me - You high!!!! I'm good. O feel paju. Drunkmabyve

-Sell out. Let's just drink soon.

Me - Done. If this is hat if feels like unfold. J feelfantarix. Not riding motos though. Not lime this. Kill myself.

-I'll be by soon to bring ice cream when you can eat!

Me - Bitch you better bring that ish soon!! Cal insiiiiiiiiiiiixkbbnn

-Haha what does call in insiiiiiiiiiiiixkbbnn mean?

Me - Don't be silly!!!! We're friend!!!!

-You're on drugs. Nataliya ANDRIENKOoooooo says hi!

Me - Nooooooo messages!!!!! I love everything. Nata?!?!?!? I LOVE her!!! Gig her for me and the oat her on the ass.

Me - I'm here. Et tr hospital. And I can't feel my leg. Myphone is gonna die. Becaue

There's joy battery

-You are making no sense but you're alive and I am so happy!

Me - Let's see. I can't feel my Lef. Hopped up on drugs. I'm selling everything.

-Selling everything?! Like what?! I will buy something good!

Me - I don't know!!!!!!!8 thing I'm drunk.

Me - My mom's ere. Ad I think someone jizzed in my hair.

-You ARE drunk! You didn't ever go to the hospital did you! You are at the bar and you are wasted! I know the truth!

-Wash your hair! Wash it now!

Me - Yessssssssssssssss. Wasted. I'm fixit up meds. Straight to alcohol.

-You get to go home tonight, right?!

Me - Iywah. We're heading there after this I think. Wheelchair first. J like autocorrect. But I wish I voice texted. The I don't think it would help me anyaybe.

Me - Dads miishtadhe rules.

-Did that mean: dad's mustache rules?!

Me - Yesssssssssssnnnnnnnn

Me - Gettingwonron soup soon. And norco. They're going me a cpm Mahoney too

-I hope you're okay!!!!

Me - I'm great. I love life. Can't feel my


-Did a miracle occur and are you running again? Best post op activity ever.

Me - I run now. Best post op. O have a machine coming to my house and it's a full time job.

-Can you talk yet? Or is your mouth still too drugged up?

Me - My Phoebus going to due

Phone is goungtj die


Me - You low

-Crutch yourself over to the BBQ...

Me - Hahaha. Crutch! That's on liek 2 days!!!! I dint know if I'll be Sony th the. !!!

-Sony th the??????? What the hell does that even mean???

-Sweet! How are you feeling?

Me - Great. Buri need internetz. Theydit habt it right now and it's killing me. Mave

Me - Ifeel good

Hopefully everyone gets just as much entertainment out of these as I did when I re-read them.

Day 2?

Surgery yesterday. Got out of the hospital and home by 7 last night. They put some sort of shot in my leg and now the whole thing is numb!!! I can feel my toesies, but not my thigh or much of anything else on my leg. I'm braced up and good to go. I feel like I can use my leg to walk around on (since it's all numb) but I'm not. I'm keeping off it like I need to.

I thought for sure I'd be pretty messed up when I got out of surgery (especially since my surgery 2 months ago I threw up multiple times the first night home). This time I was able to wake up fairly quickly after I got to the post op room. I also felt totally fine. No nausea, no headache, no pain. I also sent a few text messages that didn't make any sense...maybe I'll go through and post some of those later. After going through a few...they prove to be slightly entertaining. I think now quite a few of my friends know how I would be drunk. I also made some amazing facebook posts that involved me thinking I got jizz in my hair while I was under. Pretty awesome.

I went to bed last night/this morning around 6:30...waking up at 8:30 and not being tired. Hence the blog update.

In other news...I get a CPM machine for my leg. I think it's supposed to be delivered today and I'm to use it for 8 hours a day. I'm not at work but still have 8 hours devoted to something else! Crazy.

They said I only have to leave this bandage on for 72 hours...then I can shower and check out my war wound. I hope it's big and gnar gnar like they promised. I'll be pretty bummed if it's some baby incision again. Especially with all the hype.

Best news about this: doctor said I should be able to PLAY SOCCER AFTER THIS IS OVER. Brother, watch your back. I will annihilate you!!!!!


35 hours to go

I've been waiting for this for the past 2 months. I'm ready to get my knee hacked up. Hopefully this time I'll have a better recovery...and a better knee when all is said and done. Time off work sounds great, but I know it's not going to be fun. A lot of painful recuperation is what I have to look forward to right now. Oh yeah, and hopefully a fully functional knee!!!



9 days until surgery. This means no more medication. This also means that I'm feeling more like walking more than ever. I want to get the most use out of this little left leg as possible before it's down for the count. I have a horrible feeling these next 3 months are going to go by
very slowly. Hopefully I'll have some good company visiting. Upside: super toned amazing arms and watching the most ridiculous amount of movies possible.